Are You Willing to Pay the Price?

Dear Boys and Girls,

A while back, I bought a book called, Success Is Not an Accident. I remember reading a section in it in which the author warned the reader that success comes at a price and that to achieve it, we had to be willing to pay said price.

What the heck was he talking about?! I seriously didn't get it then, but, oh, I get it now.

Let's start with something simple. I wanted abs, but I wasn't willing to give up my cheat snacks and weekly margaritas to get them. I wasn't willing to pay the price. I'm finally getting abs and am down to 14.9% body fat! When I look to the side, I see these arms that I hardly recognize. But to get to that point, I have given up impromptu dinners, alcohol, cheese, chocolate, and other food things that at one point I felt I couldn't live without. To be honest, that's a tiny price to pay, at least for now. I am loving the pursuit of my best body!

I might add that I get emails from folks every day who say they want to change, yet, who are unwilling to pay the price. They are unwilling to give up their comfort foods or to get up at the butt crack of dawn to get their workouts in. They may never achieve the success they seek.

But, the focus of this post is not on fitness, well, not exactly. It's more introspective, as I think my latest blog posts have been. In my effort to be an amazing coach who showed up daily to her thread, her blog, her emails, um, I forgot to have a social life. The price I paid was, without even knowing it, not having a 3-dimensional, balanced life.

So began my new search for balance, which to me meant: working as a teacher/researcher, planting my roots in Dallas, being an awesome coach, and spending some pure down time. But I'll admit, this balance stuff has me feeling guilty, as if I'm not getting enough done, as if I'm not there enough for others, and I often feel frustrated.

Balance. Isn't it something we all want and strive for?

What I didn't realize and what I have come to learn in the past few weeks is that achieving balance means that you can't do it all, or at least, you can't do it all at full force. If I go to a friend's house for dinner one night, that means that I can't blog and answer emails that evening. If I spend some time just hanging out with Jason and the dogs, that means that something else that I deem "productive" is not getting done. What's crazy is that it's these little moments that really matter.

I keep asking myself lately, Am I willing to pay the price for success? Should I not go out to dinner so I can "do" more? I am not a machine and I know it. But, I admit, this balance thing is difficult.

I feel guilty for not blogging nightly, for taking more than 24 hours to respond to emails, for basically abandoning my thread. But, ironically, or maybe not so ironically, I am actually practicing what I preach: I am taking care of all the different parts of me, which, eventually, will allow me to help others better.

I realize something has to give. And while I may feel guilty, lately I've been feeling quite lucky that I have this problem of overabundance. Everyday, it seems, I have awesome people and awesome things coming into my life.

I guess I am redefining success and the price I am willing to pay. I hope this post makes some sense. :)

Your friend in the journey,

Barbie, PhD

Don't Put You in the Back Burner

Dear Boys and Girls,

Back in 2007, I let life get the best of me. My divorce, my dad's death, the end of a doctoral degree, a job search all became too much for me. I somehow made the decision, because YES it was a decision, that I didn't have time to eat healthy and to exercise.

The result? After having gone through that period of struggling, I felt fat and miserable.

If you are in this situation now, if what I'm saying is calling your name: listen up!

Life will inevitably happen. It will ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS get in the way. Your spouse will get sick, your pet will die, you will get laid off, you'll get a sinus infection, back pain, you'll be evicted, you'll get depressed, SOMETHING will always happen.

When it does, yes, it might be time to cut back SOME on your workouts, but never to abandon them. When life gets tough, it means you'll probably have to CHANGE YOUR PLAN.

I know it's tough to eat well during difficult times. It's like your body craves comfort food. But, you do have control over what you put in your mouth. Don't let yourself off the hook. Don't let your family let you let yourself off the hook.

You have to make the time, even if you think you don't have any, to take care of yourself.

I know you're saying, but my child/husband/dog/friend needs me. This cookie needs me! They do, and I know it, sometimes working out and/or eating clean feels like it's too much of a pain, too much of a hassle. And it often is a pain in the neck! It's also probably the easiest thing to let go of because you're probably too busy reacting to life to complain.

Please believe me when I tell you that I am speaking from the heart and not from a high and mighty place. It honestly pains me to see my customers tell me that they have fallen off the wagon hard because of circumstances in their lives.

What will happen when things slow down, go back to "normal" or rather, to what seems manageable? You'll go back to P90X or Slim in 6, you'll go back to eating clean...until the next crisis happens.

And yes, you will be caught in the never ending cycle of the YO-YO.

Don't be a yo-yo. Modify if you need to! (I hear Tony Horton's voice saying, Modify! Modify! Modify, if you need to!) If you need a coach, lean on him or her just a bit. That's the beauty of BeachBody! You have a personal coach to serve as your accountability partner.

If I'm your coach, I would love to hear from you. I can't give you the drive and will to succeed, but I can be there to respond to your emails and push you along.

You really are worth it. Believe that.

Much love to you and now bring it!
Barbie, PhD

(In writing this post I feel like I'm speaking to at least 4 of my coachees. So, yea, if this speaks to you, it probably was written just for you.)

My Meal Plan

This is not me. Not yet.

Dear Boys and Girls,

I have received several emails today asking for me to post my meal plan. This is a personalized meal plan that I got from a personal trainer that I reached out to last month. She is the one that suggested I do six days of cardio and four days of resistance.

No joke, my meals are simple, probably a little too plain and boring for most folks. I am totally okay with eating these same meals day in and day out, FOR NOW. I am not someone that needs a lot of variety, so I don't mind eating veggies & hummus for every second snack. And yum, I am enjoying the rice cakes with almond butter! I do vary my lunch and dinner by eating different kinds of veggies and protein. Also, remember, I have a very specific goal in mind: I want to get in the VERY BEST possible shape and drop down to about 14% body fat by December 2009.

I don't think it's necessary to eat this plainly and boring in order to lose weight or get fit. But, since I want a six pac, I'm willing to do what it takes.

Bring it!
Barbie, PhD

p.s. I work out hard, eat every 2-3 hours, and don't need to count calories at this point.

****

Barbie's Super Duper Clean Eating Meal Plan

Meal 1: 7am

½ c oats

4-6 egg whites

Meal 2 9:30am

2 rice cakes

1 tsp almond butter on each

Meal 3 12pm

4-6 oz lean ground turkey

1-2 c veggies

½ sweet potato

Meal 4 230pm

2 c veggies

1 tbsp hummus

Meal 5 5pm

Small salad

4-6 oz grilled chicken breast

Vinaigrette dressing if needed

Meal 6 730 pm

4-6 oz tilapia, ground turkey or bison (choose 1)

2 c veggies

Meal 7 before bedtime (no later than 10pm)

1 scoop 100% whey protein with h2o

*Pre workout: apple 30 minutes before.

*Post workout

1 scoop shakeology with h2o. I know I could use a recovery drink, but I like having my Shakeology post workout. I add the berry flavored Results Formula with Creatine by BeachBody.

*Daily

ActiVit multivitamin

Core cal-mag

128 oz h2o

Ab Patience, Determination, and Commitment Needed

Dear Boys and Girls,

If I had a penny for every person, man or woman, who writes to me wondering what they did wrong because their abs didn't pop after 90 days...

Some people can get their abs to show with greater ease. I'm not one of them, and neither are most folks.

I've been working out religiously since August 2007, following a very clean diet with the exceptional few days off the wagon and one cheat day a week, and.......FINALLY, FINALLY my abs are beginning to show!

Do you see them? Do you see them? I can hardly believe it!

Ever since my win in September I've stepped it up with my workouts & eating. I have found a whole new level of commitment.

Eating from the top two tiers of Michi's Ladder revolutionized this Barbie's world! Since August 20th, I have lost about 9 lbs. Remember, it took me a whole year to drop 2 pounds with what I know was still a pretty clean diet.

So, what exactly did I cut out?

Dairy. Unless I'm enjoying a cheat meal, I don't touch dairy. I had heard that dairy bloats you, but I didn't really believe it. I still don't really know why, but I can tell you: It's true! I can simply feel the difference. Now, there is dairy in whey protein powder and in Shakeology. But, I no longer drink skim milk and I stay away from my beloved cheese. It was difficult at first, but I'm so over it. I don't miss it.

For protein, I eat mostly chicken, eggs (mostly egg whites), fish, and tofu. I've cut back on veggie burgers and have added in bison burgers. Well, they are still in the freezer, but I plan to add them to my meals.

Sauces. GONE. Completely. I don't think I realized just how much sugar and junk were in cooking sauces.

I've also stopped drinking alcohol, at least til the end of the year. My goal is to be a finalist for the year end contest. To be honest, it would be nice, but really, I'm just really enjoying the experience of taking my body to its maximum potential.

I feel strong and fit. I feel healthy. I feel good. I don't feel deprived. I like it!

My friend Karen joked (I don't think she was joking, actually) that if I tried to feed her what I eat if she were to come to visit, she'd stay in a hotel. I know that my super duper duper clean eating is not for everyone, but I'm not suffering. It's just simplified my life and I am LOVING my results.

I do cardio six days a week, along with 4 days of resistance work (P90X or Chalean Extreme).

The end results: Abs that I am beginning to see and love.

If you want something, set a goal, make a plan, and go for it.

Pure and simple. Go get it.

Bring it!
Barbie, PhD

The BeachBody Community: Great Times at the Game Plan

Jason Diebold, CEO Carl Deikeler, and me

Dear Boys and Girls,

In the past ten days I've gone from Dallas, to the Tony Horton Fitness Camp in Philly, to my friends and family in New York, to the BeachBody Coaching Game Plan in California, and back to Dallas.

I'm home. Home sweet home, and glad. I had a blast, but my body and mind, as you know, have been hungry for stability and balance.

But, I can't deny it, I feel PUMPED about life and so fortunate to have met (and to continue to meet) so many amazing people on this BeachBody journey.


These were pictures taken at the BeachBody Game Plan. All of these are my coaching friends or folks who work at BeachBody headquarters, many of whom have become friends. It sounds cheesy to say, but it's true: we are truly a BeachBody family.

This is me and Heather, one of the first women I ever coached and who is now a coach.

After two years I finally got to meet MY coach, TheFitDoc, Kevin Kane. I admit, I got a little emotional when I saw him. He's a good man with a good soul.



And here are Jason, Jackie, and Chika fooling around. Jackie and Chika work at BeachBody. Um, I don't know how to rotate the picture!

The two ladies on the right, Breanna and Dolores, are both Success Stories Specialists. They are looking for you!!! If you have had great results, I can put you in contact with them! The lady on the left is a fellow BeachBody customer and coach, Donna.

This is my Jason and his enviable abs!!!

I count Coni as one of my favorite people ever!

Oooh, forgive me, Michael, I'm not good with titles. Michael Niemand is head honcho in marketing and sales, let's say. He's also terrific on stage and I think enjoys wearing silly costumes at BeachBody events. I think he wore a Shakeology costume at the Summit in March. I really enjoy chatting with him about all sorts of stuff, including my my research.

Milan and Kevin Jensen. They are my upline sponsors. Good people and great speakers. Love their voices.

I'm a total geek with glasses, but that's me. I love this pic. We're kind of hams. :) I feel so happy to have met a man who understands and shares my BeachBody passion.

I could post more pics, but I figure that's enough for today. I'm eager to share some of the Philly Camp pictures. Going to camp was fun and just a special experience. It's just really great to spend your time with like-minded people.

So, I'm back and happy to be so. As far as my quest for balance, I've scheduled some dinners and workouts with friends for next week. Learning to balance research, coaching, and play isn't easy, but I am a work in progress, moving in the right direction.

Your friend in fitness,
Barbie, PhD

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Dear Boys and Girls,

Twelve days after my last blog post, I am coming back, perhaps not completely recharged, but definitely with a different mindset.

This girl is ready for balance. The funny thing is I hadn't realized that I had lost it. Life is funny like that sometimes, isn't it?

To me, blogging, posting on the message boards, facebooking, answering my customers' emails is PLAY. I truly enjoy it; if I didn't, I wouldn't do it. Period. Trust me, I am not driven by money. If I were, I wouldn't have put myself thru 10 years of graduate school to become an educator. When it comes to both teaching and coaching, I have a sense of responsibility to the community and to myself. I LIKE being someone that others can count on.

But somewhere between working full time as a professor/researcher (which I love) and spending a good 2-3 hours a day on coaching, I think I must have told myself that I didn't need PURE PLAY and DOWN TIME.

As ironic as this may sound, I think I forgot about me along the way.

All of a sudden, I felt burned out, isolated, and maybe a little disappointed with myself. I'm the first one to tell others, "You have to put yourself first." I have definitely done that with my health and fitness. But, humans need face-to-face social interaction. Why did I think I was any different?

Barbie, you are not a snowflake, honey.

To every problem there's a solution. Sink or swim, right? Well, this girl is most definitely a swimmer.

I could say, well, this is the price I have to pay for success. I could tell myself: To be a successful researcher and coach, I must give up all social time in Dallas and just wait til I see my loved ones during my travel times.

Excuse me, but, F*ck that!

So: What's the solution?

Well, I realized (I'm smiling) that first, change is a process, and second, that it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Since my last blog post, I have started to develop friendships that were always there, as potential, but that I was "too busy" to nurture. I can't tell you how blessed (and I never use that word) I feel to have met BeachBody friends Carl and Heather Mason. I am really looking forward to further nurturing my new and existing relationships in Dallas. I am excited about my future.

As far as the need to stop working like a horse as to allow myself some down time, I know that that will be a process. Maybe I can blog every other day and post on the message boards every other day. I know I need to go back to setting office hours for answering emails. And maybe I can promise to get back to folks within 48 hours instead of 24. Maybe I can take 2 days off a week from coaching and research activities so I can focus solely on me.

You see, just like with our diet and exercise program, there are no fool-proof formulas. We have to be willing to try things out, tweak this or that a bit, and most of all, we have to be kind to ourselves and have patience. When the going gets tough, don't quit, tweak!

I realize I cannot do it all. I am a HUMAN BEING not a HUMAN DOING, after all. That is a good thing.

Truth be told, I feel slightly uncomfortable showing my vulnerability. But, I know that so many of my blog readers and folks in the BeachBody community also struggle with creating balance and putting yourselves first.

So, I'm back, a new and improved and imperfect Barbie. Today I'm off to California for a BeachBody Coach Event (The Game Plan). I'm excited to see Jason and all my friends and what BeachBody has in store for us. After that, it's back to Dallas and back to creating and finding balance.

Your friend in the ups and downs of this most awesome journey,
Barbie, PhD

Need to Nurture Self

Dear Boys and Girls,

I don't think I've ever been away from my blog for more than a few days. I've taken a step back from my coaching activities to allow myself to sit and reflect on where I am and where I want to be. Maybe the more important questions are: Who am I and Who do I want to be?

Oh, to be human and have painful epiphanies, epiphanies that I know I will turn into fruitful gains...

I moved to Dallas two years ago to start a new life and stumbled upon BeachBody and this amazing community of people. I got so completely wrapped up in this life, in helping myself, in helping others, in coaching, that I forgot to plant some roots in the city that is supposed to be home.

When I look around me I see that my online friends and customers are people from all over the country and all over the world. My boyfriend lives in California and my friends and family are in New York. Unless I'm working as a professor, I hardly spend any time here in Dallas. I am always there or there, but never here. My students often comment about how empty my office looks. In retrospect, I see that I have been afraid to dig my roots in at work, because, after all, what if I don't get tenure? If I don't get tenure, then there won't be much to pack. I'll just get up and leave as quietly as I came. What kind of loser attitude is that, Barbie?

I have always been one to grab life by the horns, to live in the here and now, and not in the distant, unknown future. And yet, I live in Dallas, and yet I don't.

As much as I love globetrotting, because I really do enjoy it, I have decided to begin digging my heels here and GET, as they say, A LIFE. Uh huh, social Barbie, everyone wants a body like yours Barbie, everyone wishes they could connect like you, Barbie, that Barbie forgot to plant roots and self-nurture.

So, my readers and coachees, know that I am still very much here, but that I am taking a few weeks to reassess and to find activities that bring me true joy and social interaction in this city that I have never actually gotten to know.

Next week I have The Tony Horton Fitness Camp and the following week, I have the Coaches' Game Plan in California, both of which I am looking forward to.

But, in the meantime, as a more long-term, solid plan...

I've just joined a triathlon club, am reaching out to folks with whom I've crossed paths but never bothered to follow up, I am taking care of me first, thinking of my life, my future, of who I am, and who I want to be.

I want to be whole. I am, let's face it, and I say this without bragging, successful and a superachiever. But what good is money, success, fitness, if there's no one in the 3-dimensional world to share it with.

I am ready to share and to live here. I'll be back to blogging and posting on the forums in a week or two or so. Trust me, Barbie is here to stay and I am committed to getting better and better.

By the way, my results are out of control. I am looking forward to the future.

Your friend in this journey,
Barbie, PhD